diff --git a/test/bundler/native-plugin.test.ts b/test/bundler/native-plugin.test.ts
index 1287bcc28de..8bc704864e3 100644
--- a/test/bundler/native-plugin.test.ts
+++ b/test/bundler/native-plugin.test.ts
@@ -453,7 +453,12 @@ const many_foo = ["foo","foo","foo","foo","foo","foo","foo"]
     `;
 
     await Bun.$`echo ${build_code} > build.ts`;
-    const { stdout, stderr } = await Bun.$`BUN_TEST_TEMP_DIR=${tempdir} ${bunExe()} run build.ts`.throws(false);
+    // BUN_CRASH_REPORT_URL="": this segfault is deliberate; uploading it to
+    // CI's remap server pins a spurious "crash reported" error on the next
+    // unrelated failing test (runner only drains /traces on non-zero exit).
+    const { stdout, stderr } = await Bun.$`${bunExe()} run build.ts`
+      .env({ ...bunEnv, BUN_TEST_TEMP_DIR: tempdir, BUN_CRASH_REPORT_URL: "", BUN_ENABLE_CRASH_REPORTING: "0" })
+      .throws(false);
     const errorString = stderr.toString();
     expect(errorString).toContain('\x1b[31m\x1b[2m"native_plugin_test"\x1b[0m');
   });
diff --git a/test/cli/run/run-crash-handler.test.ts b/test/cli/run/run-crash-handler.test.ts
index 882cd7bdde6..dcff2e6ce68 100644
--- a/test/cli/run/run-crash-handler.test.ts
+++ b/test/cli/run/run-crash-handler.test.ts
@@ -4,6 +4,11 @@ import { bunEnv, bunExe, isDebug, isLinux, isPosix, mergeWindowEnvs } from "harn
 import path from "path";
 const { getMachOImageZeroOffset } = crash_handler;
 
+// CI sets BUN_CRASH_REPORT_URL so unexpected crashes are captured; these
+// deliberate crashes must not upload there or the runner pins them on the
+// next unrelated failing test as "crash reported" and blocks its retries.
+const noReportEnv = { ...bunEnv, BUN_CRASH_REPORT_URL: "", BUN_ENABLE_CRASH_REPORTING: "0" };
+
 // On Linux, debug builds symbolize crash traces by spawning llvm-symbolizer;
 // without it the fallback printer has no Rust symbol names to assert on.
 const hasSymbolizer = !!(Bun.which("llvm-symbolizer") || Bun.which("llvm-symbolizer-21"));
@@ -13,7 +18,7 @@ test.if(isDebug && isLinux && hasSymbolizer)(
   async () => {
     await using proc = Bun.spawn({
       cmd: [bunExe(), path.join(import.meta.dir, "fixture-crash.js"), "panic"],
-      env: bunEnv,
+      env: noReportEnv,
       stdio: ["ignore", "pipe", "pipe"],
     });
     // The panic header goes to stderr; the symbolized frames are printed by
@@ -58,7 +63,7 @@ test.if(isPosix)(
         // spawning llvm-symbolizer, which can take tens of seconds.
         "--debug-crash-handler-use-trace-string",
       ],
-      env: bunEnv,
+      env: noReportEnv,
       stdio: ["ignore", "pipe", "pipe"],
     });
 
@@ -101,7 +106,7 @@ describe.if(isPosix)("terminal signal reflects the crash cause", () => {
         approach,
         "--debug-crash-handler-use-trace-string",
       ],
-      env: bunEnv,
+      env: noReportEnv,
       stdio: ["ignore", "pipe", "pipe"],
     });
     const [stdout, stderr, exitCode] = await Promise.all([proc.stdout.text(), proc.stderr.text(), proc.exited]);
diff --git a/test/js/node/tls/tls-syscall-fault.test.ts b/test/js/node/tls/tls-syscall-fault.test.ts
index b7a518aff52..8eab4622d39 100644
--- a/test/js/node/tls/tls-syscall-fault.test.ts
+++ b/test/js/node/tls/tls-syscall-fault.test.ts
@@ -20,21 +20,22 @@ afterEach(() => fault.clear());
 // stream; anything past "ARMED" means a TLS socket survived the failed
 // allocation and reached its read loop.
 const OOM_FIXTURE_MARKERS = ["ARMED", "READ DATA", "CLOSED", "CLIENT ERROR"];
-// How `CrashReason::OutOfMemory` is phrased depends on whether a crash report is
-// being generated, and CI configures that per job (BUN_CRASH_REPORT_URL is only
-// set when its remap server came up). Match either phrasing.
-const OOM_CRASH_MESSAGES = ["Bun ran out of memory", "Bun has run out of memory"];
 test.skipIf(!fault.available())(
   "a failed per-loop TLS buffer allocation reports out of memory instead of faulting inside SSL_read",
   async () => {
     await using proc = Bun.spawn({
       cmd: [bunExe(), join(import.meta.dir, "tls-loop-buffer-oom-fixture.ts")],
-      env: bunEnv,
+      // BUN_CRASH_REPORT_URL="": this OOM is deliberate; uploading it to CI's
+      // remap server would pin a spurious "crash reported" error on the next
+      // unrelated failing test.
+      env: { ...bunEnv, BUN_CRASH_REPORT_URL: "", BUN_ENABLE_CRASH_REPORTING: "0" },
       stdout: "pipe",
       stderr: "pipe",
     });
     const [stdout, stderr] = await Promise.all([proc.stdout.text(), proc.stderr.text(), proc.exited]);
-    const outOfMemory = OOM_CRASH_MESSAGES.some(message => stderr.includes(message));
+    // `CrashReason::OutOfMemory` phrasing varies with SHOW_CRASH_TRACE, so
+    // match the shared substring (see run-crash-handler.test.ts).
+    const outOfMemory = stderr.toLowerCase().includes("out of memory");
     expect({
       markers: stdout
         .split("\n")